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Help For A Bashful Bladder: Releasing Feelings From The Past

By Jean Conway, CHt.

Marion had been to see me for weight loss and managed to lose 20 pounds in a relatively short time. She is a shy and small framed woman in her late fifties. I had not seen her in months when she called to tell me she had lost her job suddenly after fifteen years. Recently she had been offered a job but was required by law to take a urine screen for a mandatory drug/alcohol test. She needed to take this test within two days but she could not urinate in public restrooms!

This had been a problem for most of her life. Marion, a mother of two grown children, had never been away from her own bathroom in excess of five or six hours in all that time! Imagine not being able to travel very far from home, go on vacation or even sight seeing! She said, "I'm beside myself, I need this job badly and I thought, if anyone can help me, its Jean!" Feeling humbled by her statement and a bit nervous, I naturally agreed to see her as soon as possible.

Marion came in and was embarrassed about her confession and frightened that she wouldn't get that badly needed job. I told her to focus on the feeling of fear she experiences and to close her eyes. I used an instant induction and off we went! "Five, four, three, two and one, go back to the origin of this problem," I said.

She reported being three or four years old, wearing a red velvet dress and describes her outfit down to the last detail. It's Christmas day, the house is full of family and friends celebrating. Little Marion heads into the bathroom to urinate. She's sitting on the toilet in her red dress and petty coats when her mother bursts through the door and snaps a Polaroid photo of her! She points, laughs, leaves and proceeds to show all the guests the prized picture of her shy daughter in the bathroom on Christmas day.

The humiliated child cried as she (the adult regressed back) relived this event. After a while I told her at the count of three, it would be as if there were two of her, the grown up and the little one. The grown up was going to give voice to the little one and defend her so that she could be freed from this problem once and for all.

I asked her to look into her mother's eyes and tell her mother not only when she hurt but how she felt, what she thought and how it affected her life. As she did this she pounded her fists into a large pillow. When all of her emotions were spent, I counted to three, tapped her on the forehead and told her to become her mother. "Mom," I asked, "did you mean to hurt your daughter?" "No", she replied, "I love her." "If you had it to do over again, would you treat your daughter differently?" "Yes." She replied. "Can you ask her to forgive you?" "Yes."

"Good," I replied on the count to three you will become the child again." I asked the child if she could forgive her mother. "Yes," she replied. I made suggestions of her not only being able to pass her test, but to have the ability to use any bathroom in the future no matter where it may be.

At 11:00 a.m. on the following day, Marion called and left a message on my voice mail. A jubilant voice proclaimed, "I passed my test! I can go anywhere I want to from now on!"

Jean Conway is an Advanced Certified Hypnotherapist who has been in full time practice since 1999. She practices in Greenfield, Massachusetts. Her website is:

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